WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They are going to name an STD after you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
