I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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