Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
