She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
