This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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