awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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