So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
