AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
