nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
