This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
