If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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