Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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