Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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