I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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