I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
