I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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