every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
