Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize