found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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