We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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