watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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