i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
