jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
