JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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