You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
