wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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