I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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