i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
