I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
