listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize