two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
