well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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