Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he just fucked me for my cheese.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
