It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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