That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize