After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
