There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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