if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
