Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
