Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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