I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
