Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
