In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
time to smoke my breakfast
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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