Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
