I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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