I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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