Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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