His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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