yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's blow job season.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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