My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
