C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
