I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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