I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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