HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
