Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
