It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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