Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
