Are we in a gay sports bar?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
