How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
