You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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