his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
